Wednesday, August 17, 2011

personal realization #6

i have this recurring nightmare...i'm getting married but don't want to marry the man but can't call it off.  it is an absolutely horrible feeling to know something isn't right but not changing it.  or feeling powerless to change it.  well last night i had a variation of this nightmare.  instead of knowing the man i was marrying i was instead marrying by proxy meaning someone else stood up during the ceremony.  i had no idea who i was marrying.  can't imagine making the choice to marry someone you don't know.  woke up thinking singledom wasn't such a horrible scenario after that nightmare variation.

i always remember my dreams.  not sure why that happens.  i will sometimes try to stay asleep so that i can finish the dream.  have remembered my dreams since i was a youngster.  the scary part is that on multiple occasions i've had dreams that have later happened.  i think it is a blessing to help prepare me for something that is possibly going to be difficult.  really truly and sincerely hoping this scenario doesn't happen in real life.

so what does this recurring nightmare mean?  do i want to get married but terrified about my ability to choose the right person?  are my skills to make changes if i feel something isn't right seriously lacking?  am i too likely to make others happy at my own expense?  did my parents' divorce completely warp me regarding marriage and should i get into therapy ASAP?  any thoughts blog-o-sphere peeps?  any takers on analyzing my recurring nightmare?

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