Wednesday, March 02, 2011

BYU honor code violator

first things first...joani close your eyes and don't read this post if you don't want to read about your eldest daughter's rebellious ways as a BYU college student...

i attended BYU for my higher education.  it was a choice made with a clear understanding of how i would live my life for the next four years.  ok, in all honesty it took me five years to finish my degree.  but that's beside the point.  every year i was required to be ecclesiastically endorsed.  my bishop and i had to sign a letter that i was living all aspects of the honor code.  the honor code was clearly defined.  thankfully for me i grew up in a home that required honor code living.  it wasn't a stretch to be honest, chaste, abstain from alcohol, dress modestly, attend my church meetings, etc.  that was until halloween of 1998.

my roommate, who shall remain nameless, and i went over to our friend tyler's apartment prior to attending a party.  while we were there he was lamenting that he didn't know what costume to choose for this very pivotal halloween party.  since he had numerous options, roomie and i decided to give him our opinion.  we entered his room to review the choices in his closet.

let me back up for a moment - there were about 5 other guys in his apartment at the same time as our quest to help tyler find that most awesome halloween costume.  ok, back to my rebellious ways...

we finally found something that we knew would be great so we left tyler's room and went to eat some crackers and chips and salsa with the dudes while tyler changed.  and then off to the party we went.

about a week later i received a letter in the mail from the honor code office.  i was scheduled to meet with an honor code advisor to discuss my possible infraction.  i was absolutely dumbfounded.  i had NO idea what i had done to warrant a possible honor code infraction.

the day of my meeting i put on my sunday best and went to the honor code office.  when i met with my advisor i learned that one of tyler's roommates had contacted the honor code office about the fact that i had entered his bedroom.  my very first inclination was to think..."are you kidding me!  i was in the room with two other people, the door was wide open, numerous people were walking down the hallway and it was halloween!  how could that possibly be a problem when i have been an exemplary honor code student?"  thankfully i didn't say any of these things.  instead i listened to my advisor when he asked me if it was true.  it was.  i admitted to being in tyler's bedroom.  that's when the advisor smiled.  not the "i've got another one to send out into the cold with a large HC Violator on her forehead."  instead it was the smile of one who wanted to listen to me and motivate a renewed vigilance in keeping all aspects of the honor code.  our little chat probably lasted half an hour.  i walked out of the honor code office not feeling beaten down, indignant, enraged or disgusted.  instead i left with a renewed determination to walk the line perfectly.  i wanted to live up to the trust and faith brigham young university had put in me.

i've been following the byu men's basketball team this season.  it's been fun to watch their success and the amazing talent they share as a team.  the decision to suspend brandon davies from the team saddened me.  but i have gained a new found respect for some sports commentators who have not mocked the standards that BYU requires all students to uphold.  they have been complimentary to my alma mater based on its decision to care more about their integrity than a possible road to the final four.  as many sports dudes have said, very few schools would do the same thing at the same point for their team's possible ultimate success.

i echo their statements.  well done BYU!  and i know from my experience that those in the honor code office are ONLY there to help students who might have faltered.  it isn't a place for judgments or defeating the goals and aspirations of a student.  instead they are there to motivate and teach what is most important in this mortal existence.  again, well done BYU!  i wish brandon davies a great advisor to help him return to full status on the court but most importantly on his personal road to achieving the ultimate reward.

now about that time i was cited at the library for drinking an open can of soda (non caffeinated of course)...

8 comments:

Christa Johnson said...

what a great commentary Mel!!! I loved your stance and it was perfect!!!!! And I am pretty sure your mom is going to ground you when she reads this!!! he he he

PinkyMcG said...

i'm sure that joani will give me a stern talking to when i see her in a few weeks. ;)

Heidi said...

Are you sure it was '97? I don't remember any of this! =)

PinkyMcG said...

heidi, you're totally right! it was 1998. we weren't roomies at the time of my infraction so you are officially off the list of possible roomies to be in violation with me. :)

Donna Raftery said...

Hi Pinky McG - Liked your contribution on the BYU issue. It really helped me put into perspective what I read in the headlines today. I have no idea how I happened onto your blog several months ago, but we do have a connection...I lived across the street from you in Mesa on Rose St. and I always admired your mom but never got to know her really well. I grew up in the NYC environment and worked at 1 Madison Ave in the late 70's; Jim worked in the Empire State Building for several years after college in Hartford, Ct. We moved to Arizona in 1981. Love hearing about your travels and adventures in NYC. Enjoy every minute and I appreciate that you are so open to so may fun things! I was there and it's the greatest!!!! Nice to get to know you now! Donna

Heidi said...

Mostly I was just wondering why I didn't go to the same party if we were roomies at the time....

Aly said...

I always knew you were a rebel! Mom was surprised by your confession but thankfully to her it wasn't as bad as Jared's BYU honor code violation(s) :)

Devin said...

well, hearing all these violations from my elder siblings, it sounds like a good thing that I went to UVU and Weber State instead of BYU!! You wouldn't believe the number of times I would be in the honor code office :)